my phil of soph

I think I feel like I wish to swim out into the sea past the boundary of the reef. I want to swim till I exhaust myself, till my legs can no longer sustain myself, and I am forced to let go and float. Carried and washed by the waves pure exhaustion, body limp.

Will it drift me back to shore or out to endless infinity? The unforgiving restless ocean rocking its constituents unpredictable overpowering. The only hope for rescue martyred saviors, happenstance, or the fortunate flowing back to an indeterminate equanimous indifferent, callous shore.

I wish to swim out into the sea until I can swim no longer, and see where the ocean wishes to take me, relinquishing control, letting something else decide my fate, the fate of my soul.